Ben McEwing
The hard truth about soft skills
I’ve never liked the term soft skills.
It sounds… fluffy. Optional. Like the garnish on the side of the plate; nice to have, but not the main meal.
And yet, when we look at what makes teams thrive, what helps leaders navigate complexity, and what moves work forward, it’s these so-called soft skills that show up time and time again.
So, what are we really talking about?
Soft skills are the human skills. The relational glue. The ones that help us communicate, collaborate, and handle the inevitable messiness of working with other humans.
Skills like empathy.
Presence.
Listening.
Curiosity.
Adaptability.
Self-awareness.
Conflict resolution.
Emotional regulation.
Even something as simple (and rare) as making people feel seen and heard.
They’re the skills that help us build trust, repair breakdowns, and stay connected even when things get hard.
And they’re not soft. They’re essential.
We’ve all been part of projects that failed, not because of a lack of technical expertise, but because someone didn’t listen. Because a miscommunication derailed momentum. Because someone bulldozed over the team with a good idea but no emotional intelligence. No grace.
These are not fringe cases. These are the quiet, daily ways that work breaks down. And they often go unnoticed or unspoken, because we still tend to elevate hard skills, the quantifiable ones, over the relational ones.
But in today’s world, that mindset is costing us.
As AI becomes more advanced and task-focused roles become more automated, it’s our human skills that set us apart. Skills that can’t be replaced by an algorithm. Skills that make space for nuance, emotion, and complexity. Skills that help us hold opposing truths, navigate difficult conversations, and lead with presence instead of panic. Skills that are alive and responsive to the dynamic nature of life. No two moments are the same. Life is in flux. It needs flexibility and flow. Not rigidity.
We’re also leading and living through a ‘polycrisis’; multiple, overlapping disruptions in climate, technology, geopolitics, public health. We’re more connected than ever, and more overwhelmed. In this context, human-centred leadership isn’t a luxury, it’s a necessity. And the leaders who can build psychological safety, communicate clearly, and respond with care are the ones who will lead well in uncertainty.
So maybe it’s time to retire the word soft.
Let’s call them what they are: essential skills. Human skills. The ones that deserve just as much focus, funding, and development as any technical training.
And if we want to shift our mindset, we can start small:
- Pay attention to how you speak about these skills. Notice if you unintentionally diminish them.
- Value them in others. Call them out and celebrate them, especially in meetings and feedback.
- Build them like you would any skill: with intention, practice, and reflection.
- And if you’re leading others, model them. Because culture follows behaviour.
These skills are not the icing on the cake. They are the cake. Or maybe they’re the tin that holds the whole thing together. Either way, they’re deliciously important!
And in a world where the pace is high and the stakes are real, human skills aren’t optional. They’re vital.
Who is Melis Senova?
I am a coach and advisor to design leaders, C-level executives and leaders in government. My work in This Human is dedicated to the next generation of designers and leaders.
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